Every writer knows the frustration: you've nailed your character's backstory, their motivation is crystal clear, but when they open their mouths, they sound like a robot reading from a corporate manual. You rewrite the same conversation five times, each version feeling more wooden than the last. The problem isn't that you can't write dialogue—it's that you're treating it like a civilian instead of like a pro.
Steven Pressfield's concept of "Turning Pro" from The War of Art offers a powerful reframe for creative challenges. But here's what most writers miss: the Professional Mindset isn't just about showing up daily or conquering Resistance. It's about adopting specific professional techniques that remove the guesswork from your process. Today, I'm introducing you to what I call The Dialogue Audit System—a professional approach that transforms unnatural conversations into authentic exchanges by systematically identifying and eliminating the three dialogue killers that plague amateur writing.
The Professional Versus Amateur Distinction
Amateurs wait for inspiration to strike before their characters can speak naturally. Professionals know that natural-sounding dialogue is the result of a systematic process, not magic.
Think about how a professional chef approaches a recipe that isn't working. They don't throw their hands up and declare they lack culinary talent. They taste, identify specific problems (too salty, needs acid, wrong texture), and make targeted adjustments. The Dialogue Audit System applies this same diagnostic methodology to your conversations.
The Three Dialogue Killers
Through my analysis of thousands of manuscript pages, I've identified three specific problems that make dialogue sound unnatural:
Killer #1: Information Smuggling — Characters say things purely to inform the reader, not because a real person would say them in that moment.
Killer #2: Politeness Padding — Excessive pleasantries, complete sentences, and formal speech patterns that real people skip in actual conversation.
Killer #3: Emotional Mismatch — The dialogue doesn't reflect the character's true emotional state in that moment.
The amateur approach is to rewrite dialogue from scratch repeatedly, hoping it'll eventually sound right. The professional approach is to audit the existing dialogue against these three specific killers and apply targeted fixes.
The Dialogue Audit System: A Step-by-Step Framework
Here's how to run a professional dialogue audit on any scene:
Step 1: The Highlighter Pass
Print out your scene (yes, physically—screens let us skim). Read through once without editing. Using three different colored highlighters:
- Yellow for any line where the character is delivering information they already know the other person knows
- Pink for any greeting, thank you, please, or complete sentence that sounds too formal
- Green for any line where the emotional content doesn't match what the character should be feeling
Don't fix anything yet. Just identify.
Step 2: The "Why Now?" Test
For every yellow-highlighted line, ask: "Why would this character say this exact information at this exact moment?" If you can't answer beyond "because the reader needs to know," you've found Information Smuggling.
The Fix: Move the information to narrative, action, or have another character ask a genuine question that would prompt this response naturally.
Step 3: The Interruption Injection
For every pink-highlighted section, look at the character's emotional state. Are they:
- Angry, excited, or passionate?
- In a hurry or under pressure?
- Comfortable enough with the other person to skip formalities?
If yes to any of these, you've found Politeness Padding.
The Fix: Cut greetings, interrupt sentences, use fragments, eliminate "please" and "thank you" unless the power dynamic demands it.
Step 4: The Subtext Surgery
For green-highlighted lines, identify the emotion gap. Write out (in a note to yourself) what the character is actually feeling. Now rewrite the line so the words fight against or deflect from that feeling, rather than stating it directly.
The Fix: People rarely say exactly what they mean. They say what they think they should say, or what will protect them, or what will get them what they want.
The Technique in Action: Before and After
Let me show you this system applied to an actual scene. Here's the amateur version:
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Sarah entered the coffee shop and saw Tom sitting at their usual table.
"Hi, Tom. Thanks for meeting me here," Sarah said as she sat down.
"No problem. I'm glad you called," Tom replied. "I know we need to talk about what happened at your sister's wedding last weekend when I said those things about your family."
"Yes, I was very upset about that. You really hurt my feelings when you criticized my mother in front of everyone."
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Let's audit this:
Yellow highlights: Tom's entire second line is Information Smuggling (we already know this or could discover it naturally). Sarah's response also states the obvious.
Pink highlights: "Thanks for meeting me," "No problem," and the overly complete sentences are Politeness Padding, especially considering there's underlying tension.
Green highlights: Both characters are stating their emotions directly rather than showing emotional mismatches.
Now the professional version after the audit:
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Sarah slid into the chair across from Tom, her purse thudding onto the table between them.
"You came."
Tom's coffee cup stopped halfway to his mouth. "You thought I wouldn't?"
"After last weekend?" She pulled out her phone, set it face-down. "My mother asked if you were feeling okay. Very concerned. You can imagine."
"Sarah—"
"That's her way of saying you're an asshole, in case you missed it."
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What changed:
- Information Smuggling eliminated: We discover the context through natural conversation, not exposition
- Politeness Padding removed: No greetings, sentence fragments, interruptions—like real tense conversations
- Emotional Mismatch corrected: Sarah's hurt comes through in bitter deflection, not direct statement. Tom's guilt shows through what he can't finish saying.
Making This Your Professional Practice
The Dialogue Audit System works because it's diagnostic, not mystical. You're not hoping your ear for dialogue improves someday. You're systematically hunting specific problems and applying specific solutions.
Run this audit on three scenes from your current project this week. Time yourself—you'll find it takes 15-20 minutes per scene initially, but soon you'll start catching these killers during your first draft. That's when you know you're thinking like a professional.
The amateur waits for natural-sounding dialogue to flow from their fingertips. The professional knows that natural dialogue is the result of identifying precisely what's making it sound unnatural and surgically removing those elements. It's not magic. It's a method.
And that's exactly how professionals work.